So today I had my last English Foundation Tutorial session which was quite sad as I have grown to love all the girls in my group but Sarah shared this really amazing poem by Pablo Neruda, who I have never heard of before, but it really struck a chord with me so I thought I would share it with you all. It is honest and true and makes sense all at the same time while speaking absolute nonsense. It is brilliant and I love it and it sums up how I quite often think and feel right now even when I don't. Also, the original Spanish is beautiful too so I thought I would include it at the bottom.
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving you to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will ensue
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story, I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you.
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
Spanish Original
No te quiero sino porque te quiero
y de quererte a no quererte llego
y de esperarte cuando no te espero
pasa mi corazón del frío al fuego.
Te quiero solo porque a ti te quiero,
te odio sin fin, y odiandote te ruego,
y la medida de mi amor viajero
es no verte y amarte como un ciego.
Tal vez consumira la luz de Enero,
su rayo cruel, mi corazón entero,
robandome la llave del sosiego.
En esta historia solo yo me muero
y morire de amor porque te quiero,
porque te quiero, amor, a sangre y fuego.
And although I'm not going to pretend I understand Spanish at all, I have been told that the English translation doesn't do it justice in its literal translation of the beauty with which the words are selected. I apologise for going all English student-y but don't you think it is just lovely? Well, I do anyway.
Time for a quick Kate update, well not much is going on at the moment, I'm still at University, they haven't realised they've made a huge mistake yet and kicked me out, thank god!
Occasionally I have these desires to quit everything here and just get on a plane like last year but then I realise I have actual commitments and responsibilities here and can't let anyone down. That's one thing I really can't do. Plus I think I should kinda get my degree first before I go running off again. Um, what else. I'm thinking I will probably go back to South Africa in the summer if I can get enough money together again, probably with Real Gap again, just because that way I will be with a group of people again.
Oh yeah, and I am so so excited to be moving into my new house in July. I've been looking forward to it ever since we signed the contracts but it has lately dawned on me just how awesome it is going to be living with/next to some of my favourite people living in my own real life house where I can play mum and look after everyone and cook group meals for us all and play day trips...oh and did I mention somewhere in all this dreaming there will be actual real work to do.
Another point that I'm really enjoying at the moment is my job as a Student Ambassador. To begin with, I wasn't really that keen on it but as the year has progressed I have gotten to know people and it has also made me much more approachable in myself and I feel much more confident from it. So it has to be a good thing - right!? Although I don't appreciate the early mornings, or standing in the cold for hours so your feet hurt, or wearing the horrible orange t-shirts... did I mention how much I love it?
Well, I guess it should be time for me to sign off now, I still haven't finished my reading, I'm tired, going to do the radio show tomorrow morning with Sabrina and have to get up early for that, but the likelihood of me going to sleep right now is slim to none. Ah well, that's student life for you - my current excuse for everything at the moment!!
Have a great week my loves!
Lots of Love, Kate xxx
Lots of Love, Kate xxx