The End of an Era: Post University Blues

To my lovely readers,

It's breaking my heart having to write this, but I have now come to the end of my time as an undergraduate student at Royal Holloway, the place I have happily come to call home. I hate to admit it but as I write this I am fighting back the tears because more than anything I don't ever want to say goodbye to this place. It is my home and the people here are my family. We have lived, loved and laughed together more than I could have ever imagined. I was terrified when I was driving up here from home, scared out of my mind that the place I was going to have to stay for the next 3 years would be horrible and would make me want to count down the days till I could go home.

How wrong I was.

And I'm so pleased I was wrong. This place and these people have provided me with the best 3 years of my life. So far. And I'm going to say so far because I can only hope that the future years are going to be just as good.

While leaving is painful, thinking about the future is just as hard. I can't imagine waking up without my best friend just the other side of my bedroom wall, and honestly, I don't know how I am going to do it.

My options for life now are terrifying me because whatever I choose to do it will still be a massive change. I could go to Paris and do my masters there as has been the plan up until last week (I've done more U-turns on that than Teresa May!) or I could move to London and find a job, or stay here and accept my masters' place. Yet, even if I take the easy option and stay here everything will have changed. I won't be living in the same house with the same people anymore. I won't have the pleasure of walking through Egham or onto campus and knowing at least 50% of the people there. I will know what I'm doing, I will still have my job, I will still have the security of feeling comfortable, safe and at home for another year, even if I am without some of the people which make this place home. But then I will have this problem all over again next year and have the same feeling of being totally and utterly lost. I'm aware having these amazing options open to me is very much a 'first world problem' moment but it doesn't make it any easier.

In a way, I want to just go to London and get a job because it is simple. While finding that job will be challenging, and setting up in a new place, finding new people to make it home will be near on impossible, London is so close to everyone and everything that make me me at the moment so it feels like it would be a step forward from leaving RoHo but not such a giant leap as moving to Paris.

But then Paris. Honestly, I don't know why I want to go, except not going would feel like a massive failure. Admitting that maybe I can't do it is so hard because I've never liked to take the easy way out of anything. I want to be myself, I want to be that person who can just up and move to Paris and have the most amazing time that is beyond Instagram-worthy and is something that people talk about with wonder. But truthfully, I'm absolutely terrified. Terrified that I'm going to hate it, terrified that by going somewhere I know nothing about or no-one there that I will end up more alone that I have ever been, more isolated than I have ever been and more forgotten than I have ever been. Yet, the potential for going is so much greater too. I can finally be fluent in French like I have always wanted. I can get a masters, I can have lived in Paris and experience some of the greatest things it has to offer.

I feel like, with this, I am standing on the edge of a cliff and if I jump into the unknown that is Paris I may either find that there is actually a beautiful ocean at the bottom in which I can swim or jagged rocks that will hurt. Or I can take the sensible steps down to the bottom by getting a job, or I can just turn around and say 'I'll try again next year' and walk away by staying at RoHo.

I love my life here so much that I never want to have to give it up, but it is changing, everyone who makes it what it is are moving on and I have to push myself to make sure I am moving on with it, however much it hurts.

In some ways, I wish I had been more prepared for the Post-University Blues. I wish it is something that we are warned about. How hard it is to let go and move on from something that has been a big portion of your life as a student. I wish it is something that is more openly talked about, because the concept of separation anxiety from university and the people is a real thing, and it can be really scary, and as reassuring as it is to hear that you are not the only one feeling it and that it is something that everyone experiences at one time or another, it still doesn't make it go away. The only way to combat it, that I've found, anyway, is to stay busy. But in the downtime the time when you have nothing to do but think about how much you are going to miss everything and how you don't want it to change, well then what do you do?

I know this is all a bit heavy for a post considering that I haven't written much in a while however it is something that is playing a big part in my life right now.

I have two weeks left in this house until I have to leave. Elliott just left for the week (to be back at the weekend) and I'm already upset so what the fuck am I going to do when we both actually have to move out for proper. I'm going to be a mess. I can't walk past his empty bedroom without the prick of tears at the moment, and that's not helping anybody right now.

Lots of Love to you all, and to my fellow third years who may be feeling only a fraction of what I'm feeling right now, it's scary but it's going to be okay, at least that is what we must believe at the moment.

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

What now?

Sorry for the long silence apart from the occasional radio posts my lovely readers - I simply haven't had the time and I've had a little bit of writer's block. I don't want to write a post just for the sake of it so I only try to write when I really have something to say.

Well, I have finished. Yup, that's it. Done. Finito. No more exams, no more essays. End of. And that is absolutely fucking scary. I can't believe how fast my time at Royal Holloway has gone, and how much I have loved it. As much as I have had my days when I have wanted to run kicking and screaming out of Egham, I'm really going to miss this place and the people here. Don't get me wrong I am so looking forward to going to Paris (I did tell you guys I am moving to Paris to do a masters degree right!?) - I am, but at the same time I'm sad that I've only got two months left in Egham before I lose my house and have to move on.

So many people I know are growing up and getting jobs and I'm really happy for them, but I don't want that part of my life to start just yet. So, therefore, Paris, and why I have also booked for a month to go travelling around Central America: Mexico-Belize-Guatemala-Honduras-Nicaragua-Costa Rica! It's going to be epic. Yes, it's fucking expensive but I've worked my ass off working 4 jobs this year to be able to afford this so I'm going to damn well enjoy myself, I've earned it. I'm so nervous excited for this!

Planning fun

I'm so looking forward to the summer and next year and what adventures it brings, but at the same time I really want to savour my time here and make the most of the moment - cause I'm gonna really miss RHUL and the people I have come to consider my family now.

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Planning Ahead

Sometimes it's hard for me to keep a constant stream of content running on here, but then again there are sometimes when I feel like I have so many different ideas for posts and so many things to talk about that I don't know where to begin. I have spent this evening writing a couple of different posts that I will publish over the coming week, so keep an eye out for more of my ramblings and attempts at travel advice!

Everyone who knows me knows I love to plan. My diary is my bible and my life, and if it is not in my diary it is not happening. End of. Which is what makes it so much harder when I actually have no idea what I'm going to be doing after my last exam sometime in May. My diary is literally blank. There will be the end of term frivolities in the form of RHUL Summer Ball - which I am actually looking forward to as I've never been. Hopefully, I'll be able to squeeze a holiday in before graduation, but then what. The rest of my life is ahead of me and I don't know what to do with it.

Diary and back up calendar...

Naively I thought coming to university may actually help me find out what I wanted to do with my life, but the only thing it has done is confirm that I actually have no clue. Me, like thousands of other nearly-graduates up and down the country, will be thrown out of university this summer, some will have graduate programmes, some will have jobs lined up, some may be taking a gap year or simply going home for a bit of a break from education, and some, like me, are toying with the idea of doing a masters degree. I've sent applications here, there and everywhere, and I'm fairly confident in most of them as I've got places everywhere I've applied, and waiting to hear back from one. What makes this so much harder is the next decision, where to go? What to do?
The downside for applying to so many different places and different courses is that now I want to do all of them, at the same time I've got my eye on a work placement year in Canada with BUNAC, because who wouldn't want to be able to ski to work? And a six-week trip through southern Africa which would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity but would totally wipe out my savings.

The world is our oyster, kids, the question is, what to do with it now?

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Christmas Time at Home

Well, now lovely people I have actually made it back to my parent's house in the darkest depths of Hampshire (which has recently been voted the best place to live in the UK - Winchester, you should check it out!). Anyway, now that I am back for the best part of two weeks, what am I going to do in this wilderness I hear you cry!? Well, your guess is as good as mine. I mean there's the constant desire to be classically Christmassy and watch films and eat till I explode, which I'm sure will come within the next few days and the fact that I've kinda finished most of my work, bar a few pieces that need editing, I have found myself with free time on my hands and as I am stuck in the arse end of nowhere, what better to do than actually read something for fun.

Yes, I said it. For Fun. I can't remember the last time I just picked a book off my shelf to read that wasn't involved in some coursework or essay deadline. So now, sat here in front of a roaring fire because the heating in our house has broken, and unable to watch Gilmore Girls because the Internet is so patchy and prehistoric, I am taking the opportunity to write this blog post and read.
Okay, I'll admit I am starting off with some YA fiction, only because these are two proofs of books that are set to be published early 2017 that I got from Scholastic in the summer - so I have been only waiting a ridiculous 4 months to read these amazing stories.

I literally just finished reading, The Goldfish Boy, what can I say, it was incredible. I know it has been compared to A Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, by many reviewers and, although I haven't read it, I saw the play in the summer and I would agree that the premise of the storyline is very similar. However, I think Lisa Thompson's offering updates what has gone before it and is a very sensitive way of dealing with a complicated subject matter for younger readers. I won't say anymore so as not to give the plot away, you'll just have to go out and buy it for yourselves next year.

The other book from Scholastic that I've yet to read is Ink, by Alice Broadway. Although I've read the first half of the manuscript in the summer I haven't finished this book yet and the whole idea of this story is so exciting that I cannot wait. The idea of living in a world where your entire life-story is tattooed onto your skin is fascinating and very Hunger-Games-World-esque. The cover art is absolutely beautiful too!
For me, this was one of the greatest perks of working at Scholastic, getting to see the proofs before everyone else, and for a time, being sworn to secrecy. Definitely, one of the draws to go back, I would really like to go back there once I have graduated, so fingers crossed an assistant's job comes up at the right time for me!

Anyway, that's enough for one day, I'm gonna grab a cuppa, snuggle up with Alfie (my cocker spaniel mad dog) and get stuck into Ink. 

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx 

Its....CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

Hello all,
I'm back again in a much more positive mindset and a much happier post because its CHRIST-MAS!!!!!!!
Okay, so it might not quite be Christmas just yet, but it is now officially December which means it is no longer too early to put up the tree, although let's be real, the tree and Christmas decs have been up in our house already since mid-November as we've got to make the most of winter here, not being at uni for actual Christmas. Very sweetly the boys announced the other day that they will be cooking Christmas dinner for us this year which I am actually really looking forward to, and to see how it turns out, although I have every faith in them.
I don't want to get sad because this post is meant to be happy happy happy, but seeing as this is our last Christmas together as a group, and I know we've had our ups and downs completely, everyone has as housemates, but for the most part I think we have done pretty well as a group of strangers put together at the beginning of first year and we are still housemates three years on. We've done good.

I am pleased, though because next year I will be (hopefully) staying here at RHUL to do my Masters as I have been unofficially (thanks to the Classics department) given a place on the Ancient History course. So, Royal Holloway, you've got me for one more year!

But back to the subject in hand, CHRISTMAS. Although I have done none of my shopping yet, and it will probably end up being a last minute job with the help of Amazon Prime, I love the Christmas feeling. Christmas days itself is fun, but a little bit of a let down I always find compared to the fun of the hype of the weeks leading up to it.
One of my most favouritest things about Christmas has to be London at Christmas, the lights, the Christmas markets, the crisp London air, I just love it. Oh yeah, and Winter Wonderland, although the crowds there do drive me utterly mental.

           

Well that it for my random ramblings today, I'm gonna try and write more posts on here more often from now on, although I do say that every few months or so and fail, I'll try I promise!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Wake up to Third Year

So here we are, 3 weeks into third year, the beginning of the end has already begun and I'm not going to lie to you, it's scaring me shitless. Don't get me wrong, I'm really enjoying my course so far this year as I, like everyone else hopefully, have finally got down to doing modules that I really want to do, none of this compulsory bullshit. well apart from the dissertation of course, but we don't speak about that.

The fact that in less than 9 months time I will have graduated (hopefully) is insane, the amount of things that have to be done between now and then is crazy, and the fact that I am meant to have ideally decided what I am going to do with the rest of my life is ridiculous. I am no way closer to knowing what I want to do than I was at choosing university age 17. I'm hoping I'll just end up falling into something again like I did with Holloway, and that turned out pretty fucking awesome for the most part.

Anyway, all this thinking about the future and the finality of third year malarky has made me come to the conclusion even more that it is totally okay if you have no idea and no plan what to do at the moment, or really ever for that matter, especially straight out of uni. This is the prime time to be working shitty 3am jobs and living in a crappy hole, because why not. Why not be saving your arse off to go travelling or whatever you want to do so much that all you can afford is beans on toast for weeks on end. Why not? Might as well do it now before the actual responsibilities begin. Thinking about it like this makes me really excited - but one thing I have certainly decided is that, as much as I love them, I cannot live back home with my family, so I am going to have to do everything in my power to not. For those of you that don't already know (and if you don't, where have you been for the last 4 years!?) my parent's house is in the middle of nowhere, Hampshire with a population of about 1000 and the average age of about 90. So yeh, no more of that thanks!

I'm applying for various Masters courses at the moment to try and delay the inevitable, but at the moment the idea of leaving here is also really scary. Can you see a theme evolving? Apparently, I am scared of everything in my future at the moment. Well no, I'd like to think no, although it is scary, it's always very exciting doing something new. I've got the whole world to choose from, so it better be ready for me!

That is it from me tonight my lovelies, I've gotta head to bed in a bit, tomorrow I have the absolute pleasure of driving the RHUL Men's 2nds Fencing team to their match in London, lucky me!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Quick Catch Up

Okay, so I know I promised photos from Amsterdam last time and I promise I will get them eventually but as my phone, unfortunately, died in Lanzarote - may have had something to with me jumping in the pool with it..., well anyway my current method of photograph taking is crap so I left Emma in charge of photos. That was all well and good but as she has a proper, big, grown-up job as an archaeologist she is in a hole with zero wifi most of the day, so I'll get them one day.

Anyway, Amsterdam was pretty epic, got to try new things ;) well not quite like that, but yeh. Discovered the beauty of being an awful tourist and go on a walking tour of the city which was actually a highlight, mindlessly wandering around Amsterdam and not having to think about where to go and what to do was pretty good really. Oh, and also I got scared by a prostitute in the red light district, I didn't realise she was standing in the window behind me and she thought it would be funny to make me jump. hmmm... 

Apart from that I've been working pretty much full time at Scholastic as after my work experience was meant to end, the publicity and marketing department offered me a job as a marketing assistant for the rest of the summer, so I've been here nearly 4 weeks now, and I can't quite believe it is my last week next week, makes me a little sad to be honest as it has been really interesting and in a weird way fun. Although I will not miss the commute into central London, I will miss the people and working with and around 1000s of books and getting sneak peaks into the children's publishing world. 

I'm back in Egham now, and after I finish at Scholastic next week I'll be straight away back into conference work until the beginning of the term, well, until freshers, in which no doubt I will be working like mad on the Sshh bus. I wish I could say I had something financial in the way to show for all this but Pret is killing my bank balance every morning - need that morning cuppa!

Lastly, I wanted to take this chance to promote my society's new Facebook page which can be found here. There's not much on there just yet but we've got big plans for RHUL Travel Society! 

Better be off now my loves, I've gotta finish up here at work and then get home to then drive 5 hours down to St Ives for the bank holiday weekend.. which is gonna be hella busy traffic. Never mind - wish me luck!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Mid-break Review

So, I promised I would try and keep you all updated and not go completely silent over the summer, although to be honest my loves, I'm even boring myself with the lack of news and interesting things that I have to share with you all. Really, all I have been doing is working with the lovely Lily Potter who deserves an epic shoutout on here as without her I think I would have gone completely insane while at work.

I reckon we are about halfway through the summer break now, and the weeks to the beginning of third year in my diary are scarily becoming less and less. I have so many plans between now and then so I know it is going to fly by and I'm going to find myself standing outside Founder's or wherever I am on the first day back and realise that it is the last first day here. 

Graduation was last week, and because I was on campus a lot for work I got to see all the third years in their gowns and having hundreds of photos being taken, and I am slightly terrified that it will be me next year. I know I sound really old when I say this, but it really does seem like yesterday that I arrived here on the first day of freshers. And I'm not going to pretend, I was absolutely shitting myself all the way up here. 

Thinking about all this future malarkey, I think my next step after graduation may be a Masters, it seems like a good idea for someone who doesn't know what they want to do with their life (then again there are few of us who do). Yet at the same time I would like to go travelling again, so hopefully, subject to acceptance, I may have found the best of both worlds by doing a masters abroad. The application process while doing a dissertation, rest of my degree, holding down 5 jobs, being on society committees, and doing a placement for BAFTA is going to be insane. I don't know why I decided I was going to do everything at university in my last year, but meh, at least I will be busy. Anyway, I have found my dream course as it is at University of London in Paris. PARIS! Imagine how awesome that would be, the actual opportunity to live in the centre of Paris. I'm not gonna lie, the appeal of probably being fluent in French by the end of the year also holds a massive attraction. Apart from that, I'm also looking at courses in Canada, cause it's like America and Britain in one so I don't have to go full American just yet. Also, who doesn't love maple syrup!? 

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself, there is a shit ton of work to be done between now and then, and I'm going to South of France with the famalam at the beginning of August and Amsterdam the following week with Emma and Laura (all for just the weekend) but it will be lovely nonetheless.  I hope everyone is having a beautifully relaxing break, and for those of you who are still at work, I'm sorry, I feel your pain. I'll post up pics of Amsterdam when I'm back. 

Have a good week my loves! 

Lots of Love, Kate xxx 

Welcome to the Summer

Firstly I should begin with an apology for the silence of the past month or so, when I last left you I was still in the midst of exams (which have all finished, by the way, I survived, and passed them all) but now term has officially finished and I am splitting my time between my home on the Hampshire/Wiltshire border and my uni home back in Egham, resuming my job as a conference assistant for the summer.

Early yesterday morning I got back from holiday to Lanzarote, which was one of the best, most relaxing trips away I've had in a long time, and just what was needed after an incredibly busy year and prepare me for what is bound to be an even busier one next year. If you can, I would highly recommend checking out lastminute.com for that quick getaway, they have amazing deals for places that I would never have expected to be able to afford on a tight budget like mine. 

Travelling, even going on holiday alone always great, and from my other posts, you can see I am a total advocate for taking off and going where the mood takes you without other people, just relying on yourself and getting to do what you want to do. However, once in a while, or more than that, there is nothing better than just going away with friends and having a laugh, which is totally what we did. Going up on stage, somewhat drunk, singing and dancing our hearts out to ABBA dancing queen on fern's 21st birthday, in front of the entire hotel, will be an experience I will never forget.

This post is just a little bit of a catch up (and a chance to show off my tanned/burnt holiday pics!) 

I'll try to keep you all a bit more updated over the summer, between working, my placement at Scholastic and trying to get on top of dissertation research I'll do my best. 

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Taking Stock

Sitting at my desk in my towel, too lazy to get dressed, with the window open and a somewhat warm spring breeze flowing into my room I just happened to look at the calendar on my computer and I realised,

It was today, 

Today 4 years ago was the first day I was in hospital and the beginning of one of the toughest years of my life so far. 

For those of you that don't know, or have recently come to my blog, you can check out my oldest posts from when I started this to get some more information, but just quickly, when I was 17, after suffering for 6 months with acute abdominal pains pretty much ongoing to the point I would vomit, I was rushed to A&E in an ambulance and was quickly diagnosed with Pancreatitis caused by gallstones. This meant that approximately one third of my pancreas had died, it still has, it will never grow back and that I would require surgery to remove my gall bladder, that had caused this in the first place. Although, luckily the infection in my pancreas responded to the drugs after a few weeks, if not I was looking at being put on the transplant list and move to the High Dependency Unit. Basically I was really not very well and was in hospital in Winchester for near on two months. 

Thinking about it now, it all seems so long ago, and so much has happened in the past 4 years to make me forget about it, and I'm glad, and so lucky, that for the majority of the time I can forget about it. Although, if I'd had the option to not have been ill, I would have taken it in a heart beat, however, the fact is I was, and as shit as it was, and as difficult as it was for my family, my life wouldn't have been the same without it.

Okay, I know that sounds a little over dramatic, and really, from what I can remember it wasn't that bad, but I know it was hard for my parents. But I was thinking, what would my life had been like if it hadn't have happened. I wouldn't have missed my AS exams, but my grades may or may not have been different, so would I have got my Oxford interview, would I have been accepted to UCL with the better grades I would have hopefully got at A2 after missing AS? But if I hadn't have got ill, would I have ever made the decision to take a gap year and have one of the best years ever, would I have decided to have fun in my year off and go to Royal Holloway? Somehow I doubt it. 

I'm not saying that all these things happened in my life because I got ill, but I'm not sure they would have happened if I hadn't, or at least not in the same way.

Getting ill was shit, there is no two ways about it, but through it, and through beginning this blog because of it, I have been contacted by people who have suffered similar things to me, or have just wanted more information. Whoever it is, whatever they ask, I am just really glad I can help, especially, as to me, it wasn't that bad (in my blurry memory of it anyway - although I can't remember 5 days of it so who knows!) but I know how hard it is for families going through things like this. 

Not that this post was meant to be morbid or me saying yay - look at me I survived. No. But what it has done has made me appreciate even more the people who care about us in the hospital, the worried families for their loved ones, and it has given me a weird understanding of what it means to be totally vulnerable, because there is nothing you can do, and that is strangely settling. 

Anyway, enough of the deep stuff, I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU, to all my readers and friends that have stuck with me since it happened and I created this blog. I owe it all to you that it is even still here, and a big thanks to the nurses and doctors of Winchester Hospital Children's Ward who looked after me in the Spring of 2012. I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for those amazing people. What a sobering thought.

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Okay, so this blog post title may sound a little dramatic, but being slap bang in the middle of revision it feels like it was appropriate. With this lovely and somewhat unexpected turn of the weather being hotter than Ibiza this weekend, revision seems to be the last thing on everyone's mind.

Trying to combine this revision with the weather proved eventful on Thursday when me, Elliott, Fern, Matt and Romily packed up a picnic and headed to Virginia Water to basically roast ourselves in the sun and pretend to do some revision all day. The ice-cream van was a definite highlight too.

What you can't see from this picture is the lobster-like sunburn that obviously occurred afterwards! 

Making the most of the weather, the residents of 35 and 37 decided to try our hand at having a BBQ, which I think speaking for all of us was a bit of a disaster. Next time let the girls do it eh lads?!

Although I think the investment in a paddling pool and water balloons could have been the best purchase we've ever made. Oh and the foam swords, a great idea when living with fencers.

All in all, it was a pretty awesome few days - but coming back to the reality of the fact I still have 2 exams left is painful at best, the procrastination is real and the motivation is dwindling, but at least this weekend has proved that it is actually true that we should never grow up!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Werk Werk Werk Werk Werk (to the Rhianna song)

After my relaxing week at home, I have found the exam panic has slowly started to creep in as I realised that my first exam is 3 weeks today... Ah shit. "what is this fuckery" as certain people might say. While I should be madly revising, instead of the normal procrastination methods of Facebook, Netflix and other crazy ideas that I somehow manage to have, I am out busy working earning the dolla. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am now a conference assistant for Royal Holloway, and right now I am working on my very first conference. There is actually way less to do than I expected as I think we are just here as backups and in case anything goes wrong or needs doing, and with this conference, it has been very little. Fortunately, as it is an internal conference everyone seems to know where they are going and what they are doing to a large extent meaning we are just sat twiddling our thumbs a little bit, occasionally doing revision more often than not just sitting around and nattering. 

As the workaholic that I am (having 4 jobs at uni and 1 at home I think entitles me to call myself that) the fact that I am sometimes being paid to sit around and wait for people to need something is very strange. From working in a busy pub to being a Student Ambassador to Notetaking to most recently driving the SSHH bus I am usually doing something at least most of the time. Ah well, shouldn't complain, it is all dolla in the end.  

One of the things I have noticed the past few days working here, due to the long hours (7am-6pm yesterday!) whenever I get the chance to sit down, as we are mostly standing, whenever I sit down I make this really unappealing 'ahhhhhh' noise, like a really long sigh. You know you are getting old whenever you sit down a sigh goes with it!

Anyway, just thought I'd do a quick update on what is going on at the moment, and as you can tell, very little! 
Let me you how your exam prep is going - if any, and any top tips on how to stop procrastinating would be really useful!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Home vs. Home Home

I know, I know, this blog post is (technically) 2 weeks late, sorry, I did try to write one about ending term and second-year stuff last week but it wasn't really flowing too well. Now I'm home home (deliberate repetition, I'll explain soon) and trying to revise/procrastinate my ass off I've made some time to avoid learning about Greek Law and write this little piece. 

Just to clarify, this Easter break from uni means I have gone home home (not being uni) which for me is a small corner of greenery on the Hampshire/Wiltshire border in a sleepy village in which nothing ever happens. This distinct problem of nothing to do means I really should be preparing for my 4 looming exams, and you'd think I would be, but suddenly I have the great urge to go swimming, take the dog for a walk, and basically do anything to avoid revision, just like every other university student about this time of year. I know I my last post I said I was excited to get stuck into exams... well I was wrong, I don't know what I was thinking and why I said it, so many regrets. Now, I'm just excited for the entire exam period to be over.

One of the main things I wanted to write about in this post, however, was the difficulties and differences of being at university and having to split your life between two places and two 'worlds'. 

Now I've been in Egham for nearly 2 years now I definitely consider it home, while where I am now, where my parents live, I guess, is 'home home'. It is weird because now when I'm filling out forms and job applications I put down my university address, but I can't put my finger on the time when it changed, when did I really move out? I mean I know I moved all my stuff out when I started university, but what was the point that I started considering Egham home? I think it is partly to do with the people there, actually making it feel like a home, but also, it is weird to think, but I actually do think, after each time I come back here for the holidays, it feels like a holiday coming here. This place will always be the place I grew up and as much as this place was home for me I think (and hope) I've moved out for good, just because it reminds me of being a kid. I know that sounds really sad and cringe cause I'm 21 but it is weird, for me anyway, I guess I'm getting old! 

On a more cheery note, the procrastination has allowed me to start a new series on Netflix, which will be the death of my degree, but on the plus side, by the time I finish this term, I will have completed Skins! 

Anyway, I guess I should sign off now, back to learning/revising/netflixing - Gimme a shout if anyone has any useful revision techniques, I've got to start learning quotations for my English exam next week and any help would be most appreciated.

St Mary Bourne, Hampshire

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

University Life and Exams

Hello and Welcome to my newly designed blogging home! A big shoutout to Gabriela at The Basic Page who designed and installed my new look, and to Alice's Antics from where I got my inspiration. Alice's blog and dedication to her blog encourages me to work on mine so I would seriously recommend taking a look, also she's a pretty cool human being. 

Now I was going to write about "University Life and Exams" today as recently I have been thinking about the importance, hmmm, maybe not importance that's not the right word...maybe the ultimate use of having a degree. Don't get me wrong, I've had an amazing two years so far, and I wouldn't change it for the world... well, somethings I may change! Anyway, what I'm trying to get to that, although I knew this, it seemed to really have hit me again today, that university, a degree and results aren't everything. I know I'm writing this in reflect to probably the worst essay mark I have ever received so clearly I'm going to go on a bender and say things like 'grades don't matter' no, of course, they do, and I'm really truly disappointed and frustrated with it this time, but also sometimes it is worth taking a step back. It's funny how, for me anyway, it takes something to go wrong or not the way I wanted it to for me to appreciate some of the other things in my life more. At the end of the day I know I am here for a degree and to graduate, and I know I want a 2:1, but if it is a 2:2 is it really the end of the world? 
Simply, No. 
Will it be annoying? Yes. Will I be pissed off at myself? Of Course. But will the world stop turning? No.

Sometimes I need to realise, and I think we all do to a degree, that we can't be good at everything and we can't please everyone. I have been so caught up in theadspaceace that because I have done badly on a few essays means that I am not worth being here and that it is not worth it, but then I thought back to my exams last year which I did well on, and another essay that I smashed. I just needed to rationalise things and say okay, I fucked up this time, but what am I good at, and how can I make myself better. And in that same theme, second year exams are about to rear their ugly head again, and as much as everyone hates exams, I'm strangely looking forward to getting stuck into it again, so I have recently discovered, exams are my jam, so bring it on!

Although I love being a student, it can be tough sometimes, we are somewhere between being real full-time adults and teenagers who have been thrown into this big pond called university and told to swim, but not just swim, you have 3 years to win gold in the Olympics while carrying coffee that you can't spill. It's insane, and yet we are all getting through it. As much as I would love to have taken a perma-gap year, I know I would have had to grow up at some point, even if the urge to run away and go on another adventure will never leave me, for now I'll just have to be content with planning the ultimate summer holiday!

Well, that best be it from me today, but taking inspiration from Alice once more (sorry Alice!) I am going to try and keep to some sort of blogging schedule by starting with one new post a week - aiming to be on a Wednesday. I think this sort of writing will keep me sane and hopefully you all enjoy my ramblings.. hopefully...maybe? 

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Welcome to Royal Holloway!

I'm Back!

Well, I think I should start this blog post with a bit of an apology (again!). Once again I have found myself taking a little bit of an unintentional hiatus from blogging and now deadlines are over (again) I have a more time to dedicate myself to you lovely people. So what's been going on since I last wrote...

I think one of the biggest things that happened is my birthday, 21, god I'm old. My birthday weekend/week was a low key affair which was nice as it seems to be all downhill from here on the age front! haha, no I'm kidding, but now I really feel that I have to start to have a plan and get my life together and do proper adult things....so I'll just hide again until that feeling passes I think. 

By some miracle or another, I have managed to land myself some work experience for the summer, with no help or inside contacts I might add, (can you tell I'm just a little bit proud of myself). In July I will be spending two weeks working at the London office of Scholastic, the children's publisher. Hopefully, it will give me a little peek into the world of publishing and maybe give me an idea if it would be something that I would be generally interested in... or just confirm that I should go travelling forever. 
Also on the topic of being grown up, I have got another job (yes really) as a conference assistant at uni - this will make my job total up to 4... but I couldn't not work. If I didn't have even 1 job I would be itching to get one. Ever since getting my first job at the pub aged 16 I have never been able to stop working. I have this awful compulsion to always say yes to an extra shift or overtime so juggling 4 jobs should be a piece of cake... or I'm just going to be crying into my laptop next time I write on here!

I'm still doing the odd piece for The Tab, it has got a bit of a shit reputation at our uni at least, mainly because they publish quite a lot of trashy or gimmicky articles, but like my editors say, when you stop reading them, we'll stop writing them. My last article was hilarious, it was about Elliott and Matt's fencing, and it was a work of art if I do say so myself. Check it out on the website! 

Oh, today I handed in my last essay of second year, which was really scary because that means exams and third year will be happening in the blink of an eye, and that means real stuff like dissertations... It also means I am now pretty bored with not much to do. I can't really start revision yet as we haven't learnt anything so right now our house is pretty clean and I think I will start re-organising my cupboard later. Oh dear, I need something to keep me sane. 
Along with this, my plan for my next blog post, which I hope to have out by Friday (but don't hold me to it) is a little book review of my current and all-time fav books. One of the benefits of having this time now is that I can actually read a book that is not on any reading list, I can just read for fun. Just reading a book because I want to is something that I love but rarely get the opportunity to do much anymore.
Another plan to keep the boredom at bay it to plan some travelling ideas for the summer. I can't sit still and that travelling bug has woken up again. I just got back from Copenhagen, Denmark, on Monday as I spent a long weekend there with Steph and Sabrina - lovely to have a short break from reality - but now the wanderlust is stronger than ever. While I'm waiting to hear back about the travel grant I applied for I will just have to content myself with imagining it instead! 

Anyway, the cupboard is calling so I shall end my ramblings here but it is awesome to get back into blogging my random thoughts and hopefully you lovely people enjoy reading my musings.

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Summing Up

Apologies for the silence of the past few months, I've been getting back into the swing of things at uni, and I can't believe term is nearly over and the Christmas holidays are only three weeks away. Currently, we are in the middle of deadline season for most or at least the point at which it is time to hand in a few essays, this can be stressful and hectic but when it's over the feeling is amazing.

Anyway what happened since I last wrote, well I went to South Africa, back to Ukutula again, this time I got to shoot a goat in the head (lion food - it was dying of heat stroke) but got to cuddle many little Cubs again, and hyenas this time - I still have the scars to prove it! It was an epic time and I so would like to go back again and again, if it wasn't for student life (and the price) I'd be back there now.

Since coming back to uni I have moved into my very own student house and the joys of communal living begins again, I'm kidding, I love my lovely housemates and our house wouldn't be so awesome if it wasn't for them. I love having a place that is ours and we can kind of make our own. Halls was great but it was very clinical, whereas our house now feels like a home. I'm so pleased we've signed up to keep it next year.

Hmmm well what else has happened - oh yes it was Elliott's 21st birthday, and the grumpy old man that he is he didn't want to celebrate it but every birthday is special in my view and 21 is especially big so obviously me being me I had to go over the top with celebrations from breakfast pancakes courtesy of Matt, to cake and presents, I sneakily managed to get his sister to come visit and arrange a surprise birthday meal with about 20 people without him knowing...I think. It was a brilliant day in the end and if my degree goes tits up then I can definitely become a party planner, although I'm not sure I'd want to, it was too bloody exhausting. 

I've written a few more articles for The Tab, the online student newspaper which you should all check out, I quite like doing this from time to time just to write about non-intellectual things and things that don't need referencing! 

After Dad's accident at Easter and all the heartbreaking beginning to the summer I didn't think this year could be any better, so far now it's been alright as dad is getting better, slowly beginning to remember what may have happened. It is hard to know though if what he remembers he really remembers or he's just creating memories of things we have told him. Anyways slowly does it but back to work 4 days a week is a good sign, I do worry about him though. I'm not a worrier by nature, always at least trying to be happy and positive, but sometimes things like what happened to dad and the loss of Grandad David, it is very hard to be upbeat because honestly sometimes things are just shit. But I just have to be thankful for what I do have, amazing friends and a whole supportive family, no matter how fractured we sometimes are. This wasn't meant to be a reflective or emotional post but sometimes I need to ponder on these things that have happened so I don't get lazy and assume I'm entitled to everything I have. I thank my lucky stars every day I have the life I do, even if I do complain about it sometimes!

Oh yeah and I met Example!!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

A Very British Summer

Well after the silence of the last few months, and after the slightly downhearted note of the past few posts, I thought it was time for an update. Although I've mostly been at work this holiday, the best part so far was going to visit Sabrina in deepest darkest Wales, or Haverfordwest as she calls it. 
Elliott and I drove up to Wales on our road trip to visit her, crossing the Severn Bridge (I thought we were flying), after spotting sheep and listening to the Vaccines too many times we made it there, and although we weren't there for long it was an awesome few days. My highlights were definitely getting caught by a giant wave while we were paddling at Newgale, eating Fish & Chips in St Davids, drinking lots of wine, watching endless ghosts programmes and Sabrina's Antipasti. We were well classy :)

This little holiday just reminded me how excited I was to move into our house at uni, so I never thought I would say this but roll on September! 

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

End of First Year

I know this post it a little late as exams finished two weeks ago but I thought its better late than never.

So exams have finished, the partying has begun along with the endless Netflix marathons and days that seem to drag on with deciding what to do. The luxury of doing nothing wears off pretty quickly, but I'm not going to complain anything beats revision.
Reflecting on the end of first year is strangely overwhelming, I can't believe how fast this year has gone. It seems only yesterday that I was getting on a plane to go travelling for my gap year. It's crazy that this time last year the people that I now count as my extended family and best friends I didn't even know to exist. First year was brilliant, and although second year is going to get harder, I am already looking forward to it knowing I am going to spend it with some of the most amazing people at such a great place.

On Tuesday I had afternoon tea and cake with these lovely people at a fancy hotel in Windsor overlooking the castle. It was beautiful but hilarious as we all came underdressed and of course, clumsy me managed to spill tea all down myself - I don't expect to be allowed back anytime soon! We followed this with some shopping and a well-needed cheeky Nandos - we couldn't walk past it and not go in.

 Although this party was last term, the picture says it all, the flat parties have been awesome and hopefully, we can top it all tomorrow night!

Note to self: Never leave the lads unattended with my phone in Nandos - Mad Max: Fury Road was a pretty good film though I have to say, not something I would normally see but on the boy's recommendation I would give it a solid 8/10.

One of the many number of midnight trips to M&S and Budgens led to the discovery of the Shaq drinks - hoping for some magical powers from drinking them, Sina and Matt were optimistic, but really they just tasted like water and cream soda.

We were all about that colouring lifestyle for a while, so much enjoyment was achieved from a colouring book, and it made a good revision distraction too.

...And there was lots of yummy food...

...And very drunk selfies...

...Hungover dates to London to feed our sushi obsession...

...And people just being general creepers...

...Terrifying faces were pulled...

...who knew so much happiness could be gained from a giant box in the kitchen...

...And my car found a twin.

This place has been so much more than just university, it has become a home, making it all the more painful to leave and say goodbye to everyone for four months. 

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx